Cutting
by StarryGazer
Summary: Implied BanGinji, but the fic is Akabane-centric. Akabane watches Ban and Ginji and muses on the nature of things. My roommate suggested putting this under 'angst,' because with Akabane's self-control, this is likely as angsty as he gets.


**TITLE**: Cutting

**RATING**: R

**DISCLAIMER**: Belongs to um…Team Get Backers? and anyone else actually affiliated.

**BETA**: Gemsbok…who hates ellipses the way I use them. Tough, buddy.

**NOTES: **Written as a New Year's gift for Phoenix. Happy New Year!

**SUMMARY**: Implied Ban/Ginji, but the fic is Akabane-centric. Akabane watches Ban and Ginji and muses on the nature of things. Um. I kind of had fun trying to write a few lines here and there that I could picture Akabane saying. 'Water under the bridge, after all,' is one of them.

**Cutting**

He watches them relax in the park, letting the blades of his right hand protrude from his skin a fraction of an inch, and then letting them recede. He muses that they are good at it—relaxing. Akabane finds it odd that two people with such wound-up tension inside are also these humorous young men, flopped boneless in the grass as though they haven't a care in the world. What is most strange is that they seem so—_normal_, and Akabane knows that of the many things one might call Ban Midou or Ginji Amano, normal is not among the descriptions. He does not judge, of course. After all, Akabane has never felt that 'normal' was a satisfactory goal for one with a finely honed intellect, and does not apply the word to himself. It is beneath him.

Akabane isn't a psychopath—not technically. Certainly, he enjoys the challenge of a job that requires some amount of confrontation, and he will never deny that he finds physical conflicts and a bit of bloodletting…_stimulating_, but he would never call himself a psychopath because of that. And whatever the others say, he knows he is no mere murderer, no common brute.

No, Kuroudo Akabane is…an artist.

He is much more aware of his own mental state than most people. It just so happens that he is able to embrace the darker aspects of his personality, and use those to his advantage. Someone who is truly deranged would not likely be reimbursed for it.

After all, a true lunatic would not be able to hold down a good job in the transport business, function on a day-to-day basis, or have nominally normal social interaction, and Akabane does all these things. For the most part, he enjoys his chosen career, which provides him with a good income, allows him to travel and meet new people, and often brings some form of entertainment or other. Akabane feels that the fact he is able to find entertainment in so many things is to his credit. After all, there are so many others who are unhappy with their lot in live, and refuse to attempt to find ways of making the best of things. In many, many ways, Akabane considers himself the very model of a respectable citizen.

He even has…friends.

It's true that those he counts as people he can count on are probably _not _people who consider _him _a friend, but Akabane feels this is a mere technicality. What is a friend, after all, but someone whose company you delight in, someone of whom you are fond? And Akabane feels something quite close to affection for Ban and Ginji. They are, on the whole, extremely…_amusing. _

Akabane chooses to ignore the small fact that they amuse him the same way a mouse might be amuse cat.

He would be the first to point out in a merry voice that it is _most satisfying _to play with either Ban or Ginji. If he doesn't mean it in a playground and swing-set sense, then it is surely only because they are all simply too mature for that sort of thing. If they get into a bit of a tussle now and then, well…boys will be boys. Who is Akabane to try denying his own nature?

Akabane rarely bothers with denial. It takes up too much time and attention, both of which could be better spent. For instance, he knows and admits that his interest in both Ban and Ginji is somewhat more…personal than is widely accepted by society. This, he feels, is entirely society's problem. He could hardly care less what conventional thought had to say about a man who has sexual interests in other men.

No, it is Ban and Ginji themselves that frustrate him. No matter how sincere he is, no matter how skilful his approach, no matter how frank his proposition, they simply refuse to see it. It is very vexing. He has tried to get each of them alone, but such time spent this way did not have the results he was hoping for.

It is really too bad. Ban is truly a kindred spirit, doubtlessly one of very few people in existence who might understand Akabane's irritations and cynicism regarding the rest of the world. Aside from that, Ban has by far the greatest strength of character of anyone Akabane has ever met. It is the foundation of an incredible competitor, and one that Akabane would be gratified to know intimately. Well, Akabane does suppose that having seen someone's lifeblood would be considered 'intimate,' but he feels it is only one aspect of true intimacy.

Akabane would relish the opportunity to have those spellbinding blue eyes stare into his own in a…rather different way. It would be pleasurable to find new uses for the Jagan master's impressive grip, as well. And of course, there would always be the rousing prospect of competing for the position of top—a contest made all the more exhilarating by the possibility of it turning into a fight to the death. Unfortunately, Ban's attentions are wholly taken up by the other half of the hapless duo.

Ginji. Now _there_ is someone that Akabane finds especially intriguing. The blend of unprecedented power and childlike innocence is a…heady concoction. Akabane did not find the blond terribly interesting at first, but this was because the boy had shown only the naïve aspects of his personality. Akabane was delighted with the discovery that there was more to Ginji than met the eye. He has often wondered if there is even more beneath all of that. Akabane looks forward to a day when he might use his knives to divest the youth of his clothing, of his façade, of absolutely everything he's hiding, and lay him naked. He idly contemplates the scars he'd like to leave behind; the reminders of deeply he could bury himself within the Raitei, and still come out alive.

And Ginji fears Akabane, which is like fine wine to the dark man. He is uncertain why he finds Ginji's fear so endearing, for nearly everyone has feared Akabane at one point or another. It has never bothered him. It is as fitting to fear Dr. Jackal as it is to fear death, and often they are one and the same, in any case. Perhaps it is Ginji's rather extreme reactions to him that Akabane finds so droll. Always one to wear his heart on his sleeve, Ginji Amano makes no secret of his horror and loathing of Akabane. Akabane likes to pretend he doesn't understand the basis of Ginji's fear. After all, he is almost always soft-spoken and courteous to the boy. Just because he's tried to kill him once or twice shouldn't affect things. Water under the bridge, after all. It is…bothersome that Ginji would never consider being with a man that was not Ban Midou.

Their relationship is an ill-kept secret. Akabane is never entirely certain whether they are even trying. Certainly, Ginji is far more affectionate with Ban than one would expect of a mere friend, and the lengths Ban goes to for Ginji's sake are very telling. Akabane passes a few minutes watching the two fight over some scrap of food, then ready themselves to rise and head back to the Honky Tonk. A helping hand is offered to the one still on the ground, a meaningful glance is exchanged…Akabane has always been a firm believer that life is in the details.

An uncharacteristic feeling of envy flutters in the Transporter's breast, though he does not let it show on his face. No, that would be a distasteful thing, to show emotion over something so slight. Akabane has practiced many years of keeping a calm demeanour in every trying circumstance. It would be…_unfortunate _to let the mask slip now. Still, he feels a mild sense of irritation, and knows that he will work tonight, in order to find the sort of adversary that will help to relieve him of his stress.

Even if he can find no worthy adversary, he will no doubt find some way of soothing the savage beast within. By feeding it, for preference. A little blood goes a long way, and a lot of blood goes even further. Akabane sighs, reflecting that he might be, in actuality, a psychopath. Still, he could never equate himself with Andrei Romanovich Chikatilo, Sadamichi Hirasawa, Ted Bundy, or any of the other rather pathetic madmen of the world. After all, he isn't _that _crazy. He's never been jailed for his actions.

No, he merely uses his knives as a form of self-expression. This is not unusual. He is aware that many people all over the world, particularly youths, find great solace in the very same actions. If they are not doing _quite _the same thing, it is not troublesome to him. Mere lines across the skin are contemptible, to Akabane, particularly if it is one's own skin. After all, there are plenty of other people in the world who would be willing to slice you open. Him, for instance. Akabane is beyond the ken of a drama-hungry teenage girl. He uses his lovely metal instruments to carve beauty into the flesh, to peel back muscle, expose bone, release lovely fountains of blood… Well. Perhaps he _is _a psychopath. He cannot help but feel that he is very superior to most psychopaths, in any case. He is an artist. He does it well.

Akabane still believes that he is within the range of normal behaviour when he cuts. After all, so many others do it, and for the same reasons. However he might try, he cannot use his blades to separate the Get Backers. They are far too close, their psyches blended almost seamlessly. They could not survive without one another. Smiling, he lets his silent, predator's feet carry him away from the park. If the only way to get the full attention of one Get Backer would be to kill the other, then it would entirely double the pleasure of the act. Perhaps one day he will do so. For now, he looks to release his suppressed emotions through the expressive deed called 'cutting.' Though it is frowned upon, the behaviour is at least understood. It is surely not abnormal, and certainly no less effective, just because Kuroudo Akabane chooses to perform the act on someone else.

**Fin**

A/N: Andrei Romanovich Chikatilo, Sadamichi Hirasawa, and of course Ted Bundy were all actual psychopaths you may or may not be familiar with, and you may research them if you wish to know more. This little ditty was meant to be a psychological study of my favourite psychopath, the aforementioned Akabane, who is both sexier and scarier than my ex…and this was also my way purging my own demons regarding said ex. At any rate, I hope you enjoyed it, as it was my first GB fic. I don't doubt that there are small mistakes, but I do hope they do not detract from the overall entertainment value of the piece. Please let me know what you think!


End file.
